There are spoilers here for Avengers: Infinity War. If you haven’t seen it, stop reading and go see it. It came out a month ago.
Now that I have your attention, I would like to propose an exercise not unlike the brilliant geniuses at Warner Brothers who came up with the idea of the 1996 classic Space Jam:
Imagine if you will that next summer the Avengers movie takes up after the dusting of half the world and instead of the many “Gamora is trapped in the Soul Stone” theories running around the internet, you found out that Iron Man and the rest of the Avengers challenged Thanos to a baseball game. Why do I think this would be cool? I enjoy the MCU and really love baseball. I also like chocolate and peanut butter, and Reese’s makes a damn fine candy.
Baseball nerds/coaches/softball players/Pinterest lovers have seen memes like the one below. This will be useful as I try and build the perfect lineup for this galactic baseball game.
At the conclusion of Infinity War, these were the non-dust Avengers: Iron Man, Captain America, Black Widow, Rocket Raccoon, The Hulk (but really just Bruce Banner), Thor, War Machine, Nebula and Okoye. That is 9 by my count and there are 9 players on a team. We also “know” that Ant-Man, The Wasp, Hawkeye and Captain Marvel are set to appear in the 4th Avengers film. Thus I give you the Avengers Baseball Lineup guaranteed to defeat Thanos.
Leading off would be my Shortstop Black Widow. She is the most acrobatic player on the team and can change direction at any moment (just like in Civil War). As someone who has been in 6 films in the MCU, you need her at the top of the order.
Batting second will be Centerfielder and Joe DiMaggio contemporary Captain America. We know he is fast from the time he met Falcon running laps around DC. And you know he could use his shield to help catch fly balls.
In the 3 spot we need the best all around hitter and this is where I go with Iron Man. He’s a 3rd Baseman type with an erratic arm, and I am sure he will do his best to hit the ball beating any shifts with the help of his IT.
Captain Marvel is perhaps the most powerful hero alive in the MCU. The 4 spot is perfect for her power as Designated Hitter.
Were Groot to have survived, he would be the First Baseman. Who can stretch better than him? Thor is the tallest remaining Avenger (not the most powerful… not when your nickname is Point Break), so he will play first and hit with his new Groot inspired axe, Stormbreaker.
Batting 6th would be the Catcher Okoye. No balls will get past her as she defends home plate like she would Wakanda.
Unlike the Little League meme that has the outfielders are more valuable than in Tball, I am going to put The Wasp in Left Field as she can clearly catch anything. She will cover the ground well while Ant-Man handles Right Field, sometimes up to 65 feet tall.
You need communication and chemistry between your second baseperson and shortstop. Nebula showed the willingness to work Gamora in GoG2 and will hopefully do the same with Black Widow up the middle.
Rocket Raccoon is the starting pitcher who would be willing to do anything to doctor a ball and get an advantage. He would never get rattled and has the irrational confidence necessary to succeed as a pitcher in a game with this magnitude.
Hawkeye is the left handed reliever ready to come out of the bullpen and neutralize a rally.
At the end of Civil War, War Machine lost the use of his legs. With this situation, it makes sense to have him as the old manager to hobbles out to the mound to make a pitching change or talk with his team.
Hollywood has been toying with us about a Space Jam sequel for years built around LeBron James. This would definitely appease the Space Jammers and make for a perfect summer movie.
||Left Handed reliever
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